I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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