i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
