i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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