i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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