Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
