hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
