You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
