That's intense
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
