I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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