Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize