Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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