And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
