i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
