i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
