I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
