i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he thought i was a dude.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
