If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize