i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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