i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
