dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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