K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize