Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
