She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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