small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
