I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
