I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
