idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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