i jhust puked up my retainher.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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