tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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