WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
