I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
