i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
