He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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