So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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