One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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