Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
