Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
