You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
