You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
