reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
