I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
