I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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