Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
