I CAN MOONWALK!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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