Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
