i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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