Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
