after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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