Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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