Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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