Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
People in love make me want to vomit
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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