**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Girls should come with a carfax report
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
