He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
