Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
