my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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