So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
