we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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