When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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