never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
